Please note: Don't take this too extremely seriously, I was in the mood to type a little bit and, that being said, some of this (for example, tone and seriousness) may be slightly exaggerated for no reason.
The haze slowly lifts from around me as the full reality of the situation slaps me like a red-headed step child with one hand in the cookie jar. I've been amazingly bored for a few weeks now, not just a small amount of bored -- really, utterly (almost said udderly), truly, amazingly bored.
Not only that, but the brief interludes that break up the monotony of my boredom have become nothing more than brief, episodic, flashes of memory that seem to be over quicker than they began. Though I have no doubt they are quite enjoyable whilst occuring, I wonder if there isn't more I could fill my time with.
Unlike the days they occur in, which also seem to be over quicker than they began, these episodes don't seem to last forever while happening. Unfortunately for me (or do I really mean fortunately? I sometimes can't tell), there is both a conflict with this boredom, and an obvious cause of.
You see, I've been in relationships for quite some time -- almost filling the entire span of life from when I was 16(ish, if you count those as relationships) until about 1 year ago. It may be lacking proof, but I would rest my case that the one thing that I seem to be lacking is companionship.
What's more though, is that while I enjoy companionship, I am kind of picky about whom I befriend, and increasingly moreso about whom I like. I mean: Nice, smart, funny, non-psycho; Not very hard requirements to fulfill, are they? Yes. Obviously.
I also find myself very particular about the people interrupting my spare time. Somebody tell me how the hell this one is supposed to work out... How do I find someone to spend my monotonous time with if I relegate them to the small windows between the brief, episodic, flashes of non-monotony?
Ok, so it's not as bad off as I present it: I just find myself in situations where people calling me is slightly annoying, and this usually occurs when I plan my non-boring activities (while trying not to fall asleep finishing my work during the day) then get home and attempt said activities only to be pestered into Oblivion (note the case, yes, Oblivion).
Strangely enough, the pestering (as I call it then) is actually something I'm also, and ironically, annoyed about when it's not occurring and I'm no longer busy. Hey Catch-22, that's a good trick you played on me, how about getting lost?!
It's not always the case as above, there are some times, in fact it's quite often, when I will cease my activities to speak to someone, but I am unsure what the particular requirements for the "You are annoying" button really are, sometimes it's people that I actually want to talk to who annoy me the most.
So what is the solution to the aforementioned situation? Quite easy, I can watch as the years swing by non-stop, causing the skin on my face to wrinkle as gravity takes hold. I mean, honestly speaking, is there truly any other alternative? The way things are now might be cured by getting into the relationship of my dreams and having someone to share precious moments (and, of course, allow me my "me-time") with, but usually searching something like that out is negative to the outcome.
Which leads us back to the original solution, just let it go, let life continue and live it. Do the activities you like to do and throw a few more things in just for good measure, the situation may change, it may not, but the truth is -- Life is exactly what you want it to be, and I think, regardless of my complaints, I kind of like my life in all its various formats, this one not excluded. Doesn't mean I won't be glad to kick this format to the curb though! :)
-Kevin
No comments:
Post a Comment